Finding Our Voices with Poetry

At the April Sexual Assault Awareness Month art show, Finding Our Voices co-founder Cindilin shared her poems during the poetry session. Other survivors read their poems, which were poignant and powerful.

LIES

by Cindilin Pettibone

I hear what you are saying

But are you saying what you mean

I don’t understand.

You twist your words and misuse them

They were not meant to be used that way

Nor was I; dear ones I loved

I don’t understand.

Your holding of me that I loved, craved and needed so

Soon became uncomfortable feelings of touch

Isn’t that how it is for all? I believed

I don’t understand.

You bought me such nice, beautiful things any girl would adore

Clothes, PJ’s, Robe, Purses, Overnight Bag

I had no idea then exactly how I would have to pay for it

But pay I did…dearly

I don’t understand.

The façade of going to the care races

Only to go to a seedy motel

Duck down he would say,

It’s our little secret

I don’t understand.

To be told you have to earn that hamburger

If you want to eat

My tummy was so very hungry

I don’t understand.

You will pick you fun from this card next to it a price

But you must pick from the back—the worst of the worst

There was nothing I wanted to choose

I was his unwilling little whore

I don’t understand.

I was supposed to be light, happy, fun and free

Instead I was dark, ugly, fat and scared of life

I will never experience childhood

I don’t understand.